Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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