party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Oh god it's open bar.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
