using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
