no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
