Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
