Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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