Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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