I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i will never coherently bang her
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
