At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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