I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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