Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize