We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
