we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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