She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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