he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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