honey bunches of taint.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
