I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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