Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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