I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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