Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
