when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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