That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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