Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I fill condoms, not promises.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
