I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There's always time for handjobs
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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