nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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