ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
