I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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