What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
50% drunk capacity currently
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
