No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
