Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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