No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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