That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
