brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
