the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
