i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
