I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
