Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
