According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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