? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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