I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize