remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
