Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
