So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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