Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
