I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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