Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
