in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
