you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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