The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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