i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
