I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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