My sheets look like a crime scene.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
