Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
