There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
