I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
