Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize