Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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