as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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