hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
