Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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