FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
