Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
