Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
