During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
