before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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