so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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