Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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