3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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