lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
