after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
