he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
