i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need to sanitize my soul.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
