Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
